Bear Naked Granola Book, Terminator-Style



On day three of Bumpershoot I arrived at my booth to find a box of "Bear Naked" granola packets on my kitchen table with the words: TO BOOKMAKER JAKE, FROM BEAR NAKED written on it. In many ways I took it as a sign that I'd finally arrived. The fictional corporate person known as Bear Naked had recognized me as my borderline fictional character Bookmaker Jake. Gee. I couldn't have been prouder. The only trouble was that I had no need for a box full of granola samples from a fictional corporate person who was clearly doing its best to turn age-old hippie granola crunching into something a lot more powerful. For example, the samples read: PEAK PROTEIN and MORNING POWER PACKS. No doubt I thought, this was the sort of granola the Terminator would crunch at breakfast for maximum POWER.  


In spite of all my strange imaginations I quickly cued in on the fact that I'd never bound a book inside a box before, and the Bear Naked Box the corporate person left like an offering at my booth was the perfect size. So I went about making it happen. While I toiled on this one, I was often saddened by the passersby who seemingly took no note of the fact that I was breaking new ground. As they often do, the words of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ soothed me. "They know not what they do." Taken all in all I was hopeful that someone might buy this book someday for the "value added" benefit of a couple dozen samples of Terminator-style granola. 

PROP COSTS: $10.40 + (STORYTIME WORKED: 2hrs 47min x OUR EXCHANGE RATE (based on fed minimum wage): $7.25) = $30.44